What does a pilchard wrap round its shoulders to keep warm?
A shoal!
jokes
Two pilchards in a tank…
Two pilchards in a tank, one says to the other “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
Where do pilchards go for their holidays?
Where do pilchards go for their holidays?
Finland!
Which day do pilchards hate the most?
Which day do pilchards hate the most?
Fry-day!
Why do pilchards not like computers?
Why do pilchards not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Internet!
Where do pilchards stay on a campsite?
Where do pilchards stay on a campsite?
In tentacles!
Why is a pilchard easy to weigh?
Why is a pilchard easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!
Why couldn’t the pilchard afford a house?
Why couldn’t the pilchard afford a house?
Because he didn’t have anemone!
Why did the pilchard blush?
Why did the pilchard blush?
Because the sea-weed!
What happens when you mix a banker and a pilchard?
What happens when you mix a banker and a pilchard?
A loan shark!